I was explaining a dilemma that I was having to someone and I might’ve thrown in a few choice phrases like, “Maybe I want to go teach abroad” or “I kind of want to be my Masters degree” or “Marriage is cool but maybe I should date awhile longer.”
I guess I sounded all over the place which was amusing to her. Strangers typically find that side of me charming. People who have known me for a long time tend to roll their eyes upward in that “get it together, Dawn” way whenever I start rambling about my own arrested development.
This woman described me as a “free spirit”
I’d like to think I was interesting enough to be a free spirit. When I think of free spirits I think of people who go backpacking across Europe with very little to no money who aren’t afraid to take on odd jobs for extra cash, volunteer, talk to strangers, try strange or exotic foods…I daydream about being that kind of person but in my heart I know I’m not. If I had to be completely honest I guess I would I crave structure.
So I don’t consider myself a free spirit.
I think I’m more a of a lost soul.
I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.
And contrary to what the moderately attractive supporting characters in those romantic comedies might try to tell you – there’s nothing amusing or charming or even remotely exciting about it.
But I’m not going to kick myself while I’m down. I’m just going to – figure it out. Somehow.
Open to suggestions.