Creative, Carefree and a Lil' Tipsy. I'm living abroad, traveling, and sharing (Mostly) true stories and Too Much Information. Read all about my experiences, observations and new wine discoveries.

Hard Water

I take long

piping hot showers

in the dark

I close my eyes

and let the water tap

tap tap tap

all over and the rhythm clears my mind

and the steam clears my mind

and the darkness helps me focus

brings to light truths I can’t otherwise see

and I see truths

even when I don’t want to

even when I’m not looking

even when I try to convince myself over and over

truths, nonetheless, are revealed

clues jump out at me from time to time

begging me to wake up

begging me to pay attention

and yet instead I get caught up in a

whirlwind of strange languages

I think I’m special because I got this far

and I don’t see the danger

and I ignore the danger

and I forget how arrogant I used to be

and I forget how confident I used to be

not lucky, but deserving

because I used to have a higher self-esteem

and somewhere between this year and last

that friend and him

I lost me

Thank God for long hot showers

Thank God for nice hot showers

Thank God for this steam and this tap

tap tap tap

drops of water to remind me that

I am fine as I am

I am tall as I am

I am fucking beautiful

as I am

and I see everything

the fog has cleared – I see everything

the steam rises – I see everything

the lights come on and I see

my skin, boiled from too many hot showers

singed from too many burns- from too many lies

remains flawless



I am not ruined despite everything

and I will pass that wisdom down down down

tap tap tap

I am drenched – I am saturated – I am satiated

I’m hurt and wounded and angry

I’m – tap tap tap – wet

and mentally I’m totally fucked

but that’s how it is – that’s how we do

we get lost and dirty and after we get burned

we go wash it all off

tap tap tap

and do it all over again


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