I’m Back! And I’m Still a (Former) Sidekick Girl

Hi. I'm Dawn Melissa,

And I went away for awhile but I'm back.  

This blog, like me, has done a lot of migrating over the years! It's gone from WordPress to Blogger to Wix to Weebly and even Tumblr. Now it seems That Former Sidekick Girl has come full circle - back to WordPress.

I've also done a lot of moving around! I left Los Angeles and moved to London. I also got married. Now I'm living in Italy and drinking Limoncello every night. I've managed to do a bit of traveling and I've seen a few amazing places including Barcelona, Amsterdam & Prague. I haven't been everywhere but it's on my list. 

I'm not the only one who's undergone a myriad of changes. I'm still in shock at the sad current state of affairs - especially in the States. But along with the horrible agent orange there's been a silver lining of good happening in the world. 

When I left WordPress I was confused, angry and emotional. I was a sidekick girl and I thought  - I thought - I was the only one. I'd been lead to believe that it was all in my imagination or it was my own low self-esteem that created this "sidekick girl" mentality.

I was called a racist for pointing out that the POC in films and on TV were always the sidekicks while the lead actors were always white. That shook me. I didn't want to be racist. I stopped being as vocal about it - but didn't stop being angry.

It turns out a lot of Black girls felt the same way.

Except they were brave enough to stand their ground. Thanks to them we have awesome hashtags like #BlackGirlMagic and #CarefreeBlackGirl to remind us that we are #Queens. Yes, others may appropriate but we are the innovators and creators. I love that we're connecting and building each other up more through social media. If feels so good to look at my Instagram feed and see an beautiful Black women just being magical. 

We also have new terminology to help us (Black Women) articulate our points when we stumble into these unfortunate encounters with YT women. I didn't invent any of them but I'm happy to add them to my lexicon because they make it all so clear in my head.

From white women "white womening" whenever Black Women get any type of praise or accolades to the '5 Types of Becky,' I feel like I can finally - FINALLY - put a label on the crazy situations I've been in with white women. And I have a new understanding of why I received the reactions I got when I first started this blog.

Shout out to Black Women just because!

I had to come back to That Former Sidekick Girl after all that. Not only because I have so many stories I want to share but also as a Former sidekick girl I am transitioning from supporting character to Leading Lady, stepping into the spotlight and telling my own stories.

I'd been discouraged by the lack of support from friends and by the white people who kept trying to tell me to "get the chip off my shoulder" and "racism doesn't exist" and other bullsh*t. I literally almost gave up.

But that's the thing about being magical, being melanated - being LIT - we never quit. We never give up. Our fire never dies. We keep falling but we keep getting back up. We fix OUR crowns and we get back to work.

Then we say 'Thank You' to everyone who tried to discourage us, tried to put us in our place, tried to shame us. Because they kept us motivated and determined.

They brought me right back here - back home.

I'm so happy to be here.

Ciao for now,

6 thoughts on “I’m Back! And I’m Still a (Former) Sidekick Girl

  1. Reply
    Asakemi - October 4, 2017

    This was so cleverly written! I loved that I didn’t know what to expect with each word I read! Thank you for sharing! Keep pushing and spread that black girl magic

    1. Reply
      Dawn Melissa - October 4, 2017

      Oh thank you! That means a lot!

  2. Reply
    JWHankins - October 3, 2017

    Fantastic post! Glad to have you back!

    1. Reply
      Dawn Melissa - October 3, 2017

      Thank you!

  3. Reply
    letstalkraestyle - October 3, 2017

    This is amazingly written and it’s accurate! Never giveup! Never stop being who you are because it makes less confident people more insecure!

    1. Reply
      Dawn Melissa - October 3, 2017

      So very true! Thank you!

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